We met Sue for the first time in August 1992 in Bury Knowle Park, Oxford. Steve and I had just moved to Headington from Gateshead with our five-year old daughter, Sam, and Sam was due to start at St Andrews’ Primary school a few weeks later. In this ‘pre-email’ era, St Andrews had a scheme whereby each class had ‘Parent Representatives’ to facilitate communication between teachers and parents. The Headteacher was concerned that our five-year old (who had a strong Geordie accent!) might find it hard to fit in, and said she would ask the Reception Class representatives to contact us before the September term started. It won’t surprise you to know that Sue was in touch the next day to arrange a ‘play date’ with Alex, who is the same age as Sam, so that Sam would start school knowing at least one other child in her class.
From that first meeting in August 1992, Sue’s kindness and warm hospitality ensured our rapid introduction to her wide circle of friends. Before we knew it, we were part of the babysitting group, invited to pub quizzes, suppers, and roped in to help out with School events. Sam joined Rainbows which Sue ran with Judy (Rogers) and another friend. Inspired by Sue’s creativity and natural teaching abilities, Sam learned basic cross stitch, to play the recorder, and how to make suet and seed cakes to feed the birds in winter. (I’m not sure that the church hall floor ever recovered from the latter!)
Through Sue and Graham, Steve and I made life-long friends in the Headington community, many of whom you may know too - Angie and Frank, Judy and Mark, Judy and Richard (Green) – and it was a very happy time in our lives. As a group, we share a love of camping, hostelling and walking. Sue and Graham brought us all together by organising weekends away in beautiful, wild locations which were marked by long hikes during the day, followed by wonderful shared meals and cosy evenings with quizzes, music, singing and other fun. These weekends together continued – and became even more valued – following Sue’s and Graham’s move to Dore, Nina’s to Swansea, Judy’s and Mark’s to Cardiff, and Jan’s and Tim’s to Chard.
Sue’s organisational skills were matched by her culinary skills, the latter enjoyed by us and very many people over the years! Her Sticky Toffee Puddings are the stuff of legend, as are her supper parties, BBQs, and menus ‘in character’ for the hilarious Murder Mystery evenings that Sue and Graham hosted. Sue always went the extra mile to make ordinary events special. For example, a winter hike in the Chilterns would include flasks of mulled wine rather than coffee. An invitation round for a drink would include homemade canapes or pizza cooked in her outdoor wood oven. The breakfast table on a hostelling weekend would be loaded with Sue’s marmalade, jams and compote.
Steve and I remember a very cold January day in 2019 when we were spending a weekend with Sue, Graham, Frank and Angie in what can only be described as ‘primitive’ accommodation in the Duddon Valley, south Lakes. On a walk in driving rain and a bitter wind, Sue produced delicious beef sandwiches that bolstered us until we reached a pub where we could get warm and dry. But unforgettable was the fabulous wedding feast that Sue provided at Ralph Jnr’s and Adele’s wedding in 2015. I’m sure you’ll agree that this was a magical day in the Peaks – the joyous occasion, beautiful setting, sunshine, the characterful barn, and the most amazing food! Sue and Graham had planned meticulously to ensure a wonderful day for the bride and groom, family and friends which we will always remember.
As well as her abilities in the kitchen/on a camping stove/BBQ/open fire (wherever!), I greatly admired Sue’s creativity and love of learning which combined in an abundance of skills. From gardening to sewing to stained glass Sue’s talents manifested. She’d ‘have a go’ at everything and anything - I loved hearing about her ‘crafting’ with the Women’s Institute – and was generous with her time and patience in passing on her skills and knowledge. Steve, Sam and I treasure the stained glass items Sue made for us as well as the stained glass Christmas tree ornaments that I was able to make under her tuition.
We didn’t work together, but Sue and I both worked for the NHS and would talk shop for hours. Never happy with the status quo, Sue was constantly seeking ways to improve the lives of her patients and provide the best care. She achieved this through her commitment to personal training to advance her knowledge and skills, and by driving innovative practices. I know Sue was greatly valued by those she worked with, and was a role model and mentor to many in the nursing profession, as well as Adele.
Sue’s energy meant that she made the most of every opportunity - she was never half-hearted about anything she committed to. Although possibly the worst joke-teller (she admitted this!) Sue was great fun to be with – playing games, coaxing us to join her in skinny-dipping in freezing rivers, putting together amazing costumes and props for themed parties.
Sue was an outgoing, sociable person but we shared a love for quiet time – space for reading and reflecting. Our meeting in the park in Headington nearly 30 years ago was the start of a friendship that meant a great deal to me and continued despite Sue’s and Graham’s move to Sheffield and our move to Cornwall. Sue made me feel special through her kindness and generosity – cuttings from plants I admired, homemade fudge at Christmas, sharing novels she’d enjoyed. In particular, I remember Sue’s compassion and understanding when my sister died suddenly of an undiagnosed heart condition. As soon as she heard, Sue was on the doorstep with flowers and words of comfort and wisdom; words that were especially heartfelt and meaningful because she’d lost her brother – your son Andy - the year previously. Words we’re having to draw on now as we grieve so much for Sue.
Having undergone gruelling treatment for breast cancer over many months - and getting through it with such stoicism - it’s hard not to feel bitter at the unfairness and cruelty of life that Sue should develop a second and incurable cancer. Sue was a wonderful and positive presence in our lives and we loved her very much. But at this devastating time it’s Sue’s overwhelming love for Graham, her children, you - her parents, and the wider family that’s at the core of our thoughts. Sue’s happiness was centred on her family, and the way she talked of you all showed her immense love and pride. She wouldn’t have wanted to be the cause of the anguish you’ll be experiencing following her loss.
We’ll remember Sue as a very happy, fulfilled person with an infectious positivity who made the most of every moment of her life with her wonderful family. We’ll remember Sue when we’re walking in the mountains and by the sea – the beautiful, wild landscapes that Sue loved. We’ll remember Sue with love, and continue to be inspired by way she lived – making the most of every day, her devotion to her family, her quiet determination, her calm leadership and indomitable spirit.